I won!

I just won an Ivor Novello Award!

#57 Ivor Naward Robert Lane ("I'd like to thank Robert Lane, Robert Lane, Robert Lane, and all the other members of the Robert Lane Club for their support over the last few years. Most of all, I need to thank Robert Lane. You're my inspiration Robert. Thankyou.")

Not so keyne

Have you ever spent 5 years preparing for something and then felt like you can't be bothered? Just me then. I'm thinking it's probably only a temporary feeling brought about by visiting Milton Keynes.

It may have also been that the interview was sooooo cringingly bad that I genuinely felt that I was trapped in an episode of Partridge. "Smell my cheese you mother" I shouted as I thrust a big ball of cheese towards the Horizon FM staff and ran out of the station. Unfortunately Lyn wasn't outside to pick me up and get me some Toblerones.

#55 The Wight Brothers Robert Lane ("Jimmy, we need to get you back through the Shrinkmatic 3000 before your mother gets back or she's going to kill me.")




















#56 Muppet Lookalike Robert Lane ("Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck")

Battle games

Exams have temporarily passed, now I'm just distracted by various other things. Nevermind, time for one more Robert Lane.

#54 (stroking his hair) Prepare for battle Robert Lane ("No way, you cannot use a Zork Lord straight after a death strike. Seriously? Are you some kind of retard? I'm telling my Mum. Actually forget it, I'm not playing anymore.")

#53

Argh! Why aren't I revising? My exam is in 14 hours! And I'll be sleeping for 8 of those. What year was Gillick v BBC? Argh!

There's always time for one more Robert Lane though. And I've seemingly found time to waste even more of my life on this uber-sad blog for anally retentive sub-editors and the like. It's a group one, so if you too are amused by being petty, let me know and you can join in. But please, don't point out all my mistakes from now on. Where were we?

#53 I use Colgate Twice a Day for a Whiter Smile Robert Lane
My mind is too full of exams to think of a quote for this chap, so I'm opening this one up. A year's subscription to the Gair Rhydd for the best one.

Keep on rocking in the free world

Today, a special tribute to one of the best Robert Lanes I've found so far. One photo just isn't enough, this guy has a whole page of them. He's clearly living the dream, I think the band are called Derelict. There's loads more on another page, but these are pretty mint.

#52 Thankyou Milton Keynes you've been a wonderful audience Robert Lane



















"Count my fingers. That's how many eyes Brian here lost when he used a Bunsen Burner without wearing safety goggles. And his hair was completely obliterated. Now he has to wear a springer Spaniel on his head and can only communicate by pointing and scrunching up his face"





















"Three days of camping outside the ticket office in a sleeping bag, but this makes it all worthwhile. Front row at the World Gymnastics Championship"
















"You said smart casual so I put a tie on. Now I just feel silly."
























I like this picture because the girl is clearly eating his tie. I like to think it's some kind of magic effects pedal that's attached to his guitar.

And finally, Robert Lane #3 is back again, this time accepting an award at the Robert Lane Awards 2010. That's me on the right presenting the award.









He's quickly becoming one of my favourites. When I get round to it I might work out how to put a poll on this site and get a vote going for the world's best Robert Lane. Any suggestions for the shortlist would be lovely.

An advert

Just copying Caleb and advertising the Christian Union talk on Wednesday. It's been said before, but Roger Carswell is a talented speaker. "All welcome" is an easy thing to say, but it's genuinely meant on this occasion.

The second half century

Just one today, due to a lack of time. I'm finally revising! And in doing so I've realised that I've probably committed defamation against all 50 of the Robert Lanes in this blog. I'm just trying to think which defence to use, I suppose some Fair Comment defence could work as there's no malice involved and my comments aren't based upon facts. Or I may just have to provide an Offer of Amends and publish an apology.

Anyway, here's #51 Kickass Robert Lane. I particularly like him because he's displayed his Scouts badges around his picture. I'll have to do the same with my Boys' Brigade awards.

He provides his own caption on the bottom picture - "It is pretty simple. If you do not like jail, then do not commit crimes!!!!". I tend to assume someone that uses 4 exclamation marks in a row is insane or on drugs, but I doubt that's true in Robert Lane's case. I suspect he's a hard-ass with a heart of gold.

Irony?

Someone said I was "part of the ignorami" the other day. That might be true if the word actually existed, but it doesn't. It's 'ignoramuses' if anything, making them part of the ignorami. Is that a good example of irony?

The big 5-0

I'm shedding a tear of pride as I finally reach 50 Robert Lanes. The rate of progress has accelerated with me spending each of the last 3 days in an uncomfortable relationship with my computer. If anyone can work out what it says on #48's tshirt I'd be eternally grateful.

#48 Okillydokilly Robert Lane (in the middle) ("We've just had the most super time at Camp Sunshine this year. Ooooh, what hairy arms you have Patrick").
















#49 Antlers Robert Lane ("Mummy says I'm special because I was one of only 3 Texans born with a pair of antlers embedded in my stomach")










#50 Children's TV Presenter lookalike Robert Lane ("Up next on CBBC we'll be putting one of the Chuckle Brothers in the gunge tank. What they don't know is that rather than using gunge we're using this toxic chemical. Text in to say whether you'd rather see Paul or Barry dissolve live on TV. Start your text with the word DEATH then either 'Paul' or 'Barry'. Coming up next, Tracy Beaker")

A housing special

Thinking of moving house? Well why not move to Robbie Lane, where there's a whole host of attractive properties. Here's my top 3 houses with the same name as me.

#45 Number 325 Robbie Lane ("Hi, I only have one floor unfortunately. On the plus side, I'm a talking house, which must make me pretty valuable")





#46 Number 837 Robbie Lane ("Please help me, I have no roof. I'm cold")








#47 Number 211 Robbie Lane ("Look at me with my second floor, I am the nuts.")
















While I'm wasting time, I found another pic of a previously featured Robbie Lane. Here's #3 (Happy Robbie Lane). I'm glad to say he still looks happy. I just hope it's not a facade covering a cold cold heart.

A black and white special

#42 I love you guys Robert Lane.

The actual quote from this 16 year olds website is "We decided to start the band because we wanted to touch peoples hearts with our music. We love to reach out to the world so I hope you enjoy us...I love you guys." He goes on to ask you to buy their album called "Summer Days Are Like Footprints in the Sand"

It's not even worth me making one up. I salute you Robert Lane #42, a 16-year that admits to wanting to touch people.















#43 Endorsement Robert Lane ("I only smoke the finest Marlboro cigarettes; for a smooth throat and a guaranteed freshness, every day.")















#44 Football Robert Lane ("Quit it, that really hurts. Hey, 76 mind where that hand's going. And 83 - keep your tongue inside your mouth")

All work and no play makes a career

I don't know why, but the structure of the European Union just isn't exciting me today. So I'm resorting to wasting more chuffing time. This week, 3 Robert Lanes that look a bit look famous people #39-41.

#39 Mr Belding Robert Lane ("Screech, why is Zack chasing Kelly Kapowski round the canteen")

















#40 Anthony Minghella Robert Lane ("Not only do I make mighty fine ice cream, I also make mighty fine films. Now make me mayor of the Isle of Wight or I'll leave forever")































#41 Robert DeNiro Robert Lane ("Are you talking to me? I doubt it, because now I only make dull comedies")

































As a bonus, I found this rather lovely picture of one of my favourite Robert Lanes (#2 Ginger Robbie). I think he looks rather dashing.