Return to normality

However wonderful the name Lane Roberts P.I. is, there's just not enough namesakes.

Robert Lanes #36-#38

#36 Ho ho ho Robert Lane ("They call my Comedy Bob down at the box factory because of my selection of ties. This is one of my favourite Christmas ties. It's so good I like to wear it in June")




















#37 In the navy Robert Lane (on the right) ("Y'know it sure does get lonely being all at sea with just 300 men for company. But, we find ways to pass the time.")
















#38 Je suis un artist Robert Lane ("Well it started off as a still life picture of a banana in a fruit bowl. But then I messed up a bit and decided to draw scaffolding on the banana and pretend it was my inner hatred escaping from the shackels of capitalism")

My new name

I've recently been thinking about changing my name to Lane Roberts P.I. for the simple reason that it just sounds so chuffing good.

Though it's something ive wanted to do for a while, i've been further encouraged by one of my friends who has now changed his name to Maxwell Betts (I'm not lying by the way, he's actually got a library card out under the name Maxwell Betts). And who can blame him? It's a great name.

Before I make this rash decision, I had to see who I'd be sharing the name with. Alas, it's not such a large family as share my current name. Here's most of the Lane Roberts club.

#1 Rodeo Lane Roberts (with horse - note the different coloured hat, clearly he has a good range) ("They call it the 'wild west'. And I'm about wild as they come. Yes sirrrreee")






























#2 King of Chicken Lane Roberts ("Come on down to my restaurant in East Michigan and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. My flame grilled chicken steaks are the finest in the whole of the United States of America")














#3 'I wanna be wanna be wanna Jim Morrison' Lane Roberts ("I think what our music is saying is that there's a fragility to life that you can't always express in words but you know is there. It's like, that moment before you die, and your life flashes before your eyes - if you survive you feel like you've cheated, that you've you've won. Yeah, that's definitely what my songs are about. Particularly the song "La di da de dee dum dee dee dee" from our first album. People say the 8 minutes of me shouting 'la dee da' at the end really make them think about death.)

Pathetic

Before I add more lads to the Robert Lane Club, a couple of name-drops are in order. Firstly, let me recite my brief conversation with Simon Hughes MP.

RL: Thanks for your time Simon
SH: No worries. Good luck with the career.
RL: You too. *Robert Lane giggles*
SH: *Bemused and slightly offended look*

Secondly let me quote Sir Clive Woodward's whiteboard note:
"Fatigue is the enemy of performance"

Neither of those are particularly funny, I just like name-dropping. Which reminds me, I was talking to Girls Aloud about name-dropping...

Apologies, here's members #33-#35 of the Robert Lane club.

#33 Genius Robert Lane ("Now, if I simply add zis ammonium to ze raccoons nose we vill see a vonderful transformation...)



















#34 Middle of nowhere Robert Lane ("So you folks got a puncture, eh? Weeeell I'm afraid Chuck's garage ain't open again until tomorrow morning, and there ain't no towns you'll be able to reach before nightfall. I'd say you'll have to stay the night here in Creepyville"




















#35 Desktop Robert Lane ("Why don't you on over one evening? We can play Civilisation on my network")

More coursework + less spare time = more blogging

#30 Conjoined Robert Lane ("Hi , we're Robert and Roberta Lane. People say siamese twins can't lead an ordinary life, but we proved them wrong. We even managed to carry on when Roberta started taking amphetamines")



















#31 Natural life artist Robert Lane ("You remind me of a young Lauren Bacall. But with less clothes on.")














#32 Golftastic Robert Lane, on the right ("Have you ever noticed how people start looking like their trophies as they get fatter?")