Originally a platform for discussing the future of journalism - now just pointless pictures of people with the same name as me. Any pictures of Robert Lanes or suggestions of further punnage gratefully received. In case anyone cares, I also run http://www.isleofwightguru.co.uk/ and http://www.cheap-engagement-rings.co.uk/

Friday, January 27, 2006

I should really write something intelligent

"Oh forget it Rea", as one of my heroes once said. Let's just have a few more pictures of people called Robert Lane. My favourite is #19, who's actually showing off his name. I'll think of some pseudo-intellectual and wildly verbose rubbish later. Isn't 'verbose' a great word? Isn't 'great' a dull word? Isn't there some better way I could be occupying my time?

#17 Line-up Robert Lane ("How could I have done anything wrong? I've had my fingers in an electric socket all day")




















#18 Super Robert Lane ("Let's go kick some butt Hydro Girl")




















#19 Name-badge Robert Lane ("Maybe if I keep knodding they'll think I understand what they're talking about")

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Destroying the patriarchy of the Robert Lane club.

I have not slept, I have not eaten, I have hardly breathed such has been my search for a female Robert Lane. So, I present Robert Lane #14, or Bobby Lane Wiggins Dillman.


















To avoid sexism, here's a couple more males: #15 Sailor Robert Lane ("One day I hope to put my face on the right way up")















#16 Great outdoors Robert Lane ("OK Team Squirrel, last one back to base only gets pink marshmallows in their hot chocolate tonight")

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Welcome to the club boys

It just occured to me that I'm yet to find a female member of the Robert Lane club. Clearly, that sounds like a foolish statement but there must be a Bobby or something similar - I'll get to it.

Anyway, before I add the next three faces to the Robert Lane club, I would like to record my favourite quote from Celebrity Big Brother this year (I haven't been watching it, I was holding the remote control for a friend).

Michael Barrymore was complaining to Jodie Marsh that he's not a big fan of vegetarians. Marsh waits for Barrymore to walk away before saying "I'm not a big fan of dead people in swimming pools but I don't keep going on about it". Classic.

Anyway here's three more Robert Lanes:

#11) Model Robert Lane ("Could I tempt you to join me for a walk in the park this fall? We can discuss my love of natural woollen scarves and crack cocaine.")



















#12 Can We Fix It Robert Lane ("*Sigh* I'll be honest, it's going be Thursday before I can get a new devalver washer, and that's only if I order it; which I'm unlikely to.")






#13 Happy families Robert Lane ("Now smile kids, we may be trapped in the batcave, but let's look chirpy and maybe he won't kill us all")

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Should I feel exploited?

This is going to sound like a narcissistic list, but indulge me for a minute and I'll get to the point.

In the last few years I've written an article that was published in a national newspaper (and done a significant amount of research for the same paper). I've done weeks of week for local commercial radio (including putting together voicers and packages that were broadcast and written reams of copy that were read out). I've carried out interviews that were broadcast on local TV. I've written copy that was sent out on a national broadcasting network to over a hundred radio stations. I've even counted a sweaty man doing press-ups to decide if he should be selected for a TV programme.

I could go on, but I'm even starting to bore myself.

But here's the punchline; I've never been paid anything at all for a piece of journalism, or anything close. Last week, I was offered expenses for the first time in my life. 34p a mile for petrol seemed like a massive leap forward from free work to a proper job. Prior to that, it's cost me money to work for national newspapers and local stations. Work at a national newspaper in the summer cost me a couple of hundred pounds in travel. Luckily I had somewhere free to stay.

There's a painfully optimistic piece on the NUJ website, discussing the work experience racket. I'm quite fond of the NUJ, with the bi-monthly magazine of people holding placards. But surely even they can't pretend that any company is going to pay someone on work experience for something that gets published when there's a dozen other people that would take the 'job'.

In my case, and I think in the case of the vast majority of people trying to get into the industry, the aim is to get something broadcast. It suggests that you've reached a quality threshold that means that one day, in the far far future you might get a real job. Or at least get expenses.

In most other industries this would be unacceptable exploitation, and it's only recently that it's started to annoy me. Before that I was ready to grab anything as a means to an end, whatever the cost to myself. But I've started to realise that this is a pattern that's likely to carry on if and when I do get a paid job. I've now met a few journalists who are being exploited either with their time or their money (or both).

At one national paper I met a young man who produces one of the most popular pages in the whole paper on a daily basis. He's been there for well over a year and gets paid nothing for his Monday to Friday work. His only consolation is that he now gets paid for doing a tedious and unskilled job at the paper on Saturday. Last time I spoke to him he didn't see any hope of a permanent job.

Most remarkably he didn't show any sign of complaining that he was providing them with something they could make money out of, and he was getting nothing but experience in return.

Of course, the reasons are obvious and complaining is fruitless. It's a competitive industry and there's usually someone that will work for less. It's also an industry where academic qualifications are optional, so the workforce is far too flexible.

Maybe I should appreciate the NUJ and the minimum wage more. Without them, I wonder how many years it would be before there was just one man raking in the cash while an army of skilled journalists work for free and make ends meet with night-time bar work.

I'm too young to be this bitter.